My non-muslim friends always asked me, "Why Muslim men can marry 4?" I am like, how do I even answer that question?
However I attended a Qur'an tafsir class when I was overseas a year ago. This was by far the best knowledge I have heard and kept embedded in my heart, because it addressed THE burning question that was bugging me!
The tafsir class enlightened me. The Uztazah, may Allah swt be pleased with her, said: "Allah swt said in the Qur'an, a Muslim man can marry four. And followed by that verse, Allah swt has said that, a man can marry four if, (and only IF) he can provide for all of them EQUALLY."
Then she paused.
Then she addressed the translation in depth. She mentioned, before Islam came about, year and years before, many Kings, rich men and and even labourers and slaves, they had many wives, mistresses and concubines. So when Islam came 1430 years ago, Allah swt has prohibited men from marrying more than 4 wives.
In this we learn that Allah swt has created a clause to
PROHIBIT, to prevent, and to reduce the number of wive a men should have and Allah swt, Almighty, All-Fair is
not ENCOURAGING men to have more than 1 wife!
So why did Allah swt not just limit men to having 1 wife???
In this, we learn that Allah swt is addressing the weakness of men.
And followed by the prohibition of having more than 4 wives, Allah swt, indicates clearly that the men should provide for their women EQUALLY.
In this most people may think, equality in terms of financial, or in terms of sexual.. and that is it???
EQUALITY would mean to me (at least) in terms of financial, sexual, emotional, spiritual, smiles and happiness. Can a men of any capability or in any position be able to give equal love to 2 beings, what more 4?
Please allow me to conclude this.
Let's take an example of a man who has just ONE wife:
After marriage:
If he buys a car, his desire for the car would be higher than that for his wife. Then,
If he gets a baby, his love for his baby would be deeper than that for his wife. Then,
If he gets a promotion at work, his time for his work would be taken up more than for his wife.
So tell me if Allah swt was really saying to men, "Please go and take on more wives, or was He trying to teach us to be humble because we are such weak servants, and that we should be thankful and contented and pleased with the one wife that he has appointed for us.
Remember ladies & Gentlemen: It is a prohibition and not an encouragement. Next time your hubby says jokingly that he wants to get another wife, pass on this note to him! And please mummy's: Educate your sons & daughters too.
May Allah swt forgive me and bless all of you. Ameen.
